What place should be granted to foreplay?

Eight out of ten women say they like foreplay *. Are they necessary for a fulfilling sex life? What if they were more than a source of physical pleasure? Decryption with Alexandra Hubin, founding sexologist of positive sexology.

Kisses, sweet or raw words, caresses, masturbation, fellatio, cunnilingus. The preliminaries, which last on average twelve minutes2, can be reciprocal or be done by one of the partners. As Alexandra Hubin says, “the best is to vary! “.


Preliminaries are a moment of intimate and accomplice sharing. Nearly seven out of ten women also say they do not feel modesty or embarrassment during these sensual moments 3 . “This complicity is reinforced if both partners look at each other,” says the sexologist. One must be observant of the reactions of his partner and play to make his desire burning. “Erotic games that also let go but also change the daily. “It’s an anti-routine magic formula,” says Alexandra Hubin.


Touch, taste, sight, so many senses that are awakened during the foreplay. It is also to appeal to the imagination to bring new sensations. According to the sexologist, the pleasure of foreplay is also partly to discover other erotic scenes. “Fellatio can have a fantasy side, for example. Either to feel delivered, given, subject to the pleasures of their partner. Either to feel in a dominant position by having a woman at the service of their pleasure. “


Preliminaries ensuring good lubrication, they prepare physically for penetration. Alexandra Hubin states that it is proven that they also increase the probability of enjoying for women. As far as men are concerned, these erotic games would reduce the risk of premature ejaculation thanks to “the effect of habituation to perceived sensations”. According to her, the preliminaries would reduce the impact of the stress of everyday life on the quality of erections.


Preliminaries are sometimes a source of pleasure so intense that orgasm can be at the rendezvous. But if women have the ability to have more as a result, this is not the case for men. It takes time for them to get a new erection. “Men go through a period called refractory and some women have hypersensitivity making uncomfortable the pursuit of sexual stimulation, explains Alexandra Hubin. Thus, it may be necessary for the partners to agree beforehand on the next events. “

Not to mention that it is not because the preliminaries are so named that they must necessarily be followed by penetration. They can be the sexual act in itself. So enjoy or not enjoy, the whole thing is to have fun.


*, 2  and  : According to the survey conducted by the sexologist and psychiatrist Philippe Brenot and published in Women, sex and love (Les Arènes, 2012).

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