Love after #metoo, dare to flirt with men

Two books come out at the same time, to update the art of seduction!

Chance of the calendar, two books come out at the moment, dreadfully complementary: one teaches men to seduce after #metoo, the other teaches women to seduce after #metoo.

On my left, Fiona Schmidt at Hachette signs “L’amour après #metoo” at Hachette , with illustrations by Emmanuelle Teyras. It is for the use of men and extremely educational: the author summarizes all the issues of recent developments, especially around consent, and includes a practical guide explaining how to seduce again (because just as we can always say you can always do it, provided you behave like a human being).

Here you’ll find advice on how to chat on the street, at friends, at work, on dating apps, and how to keep in touch, then how to sleep – not to mention the difference between whipping and harassing, the guide of gallantry in 2018 -2019 (no more excuses to pretend to confuse), the culture of rape, the Americanization of sex, debates on virility, the benefits of sharing sexual power … The style is really funny and there are small drawings.

On my right, Flore Cherry with “Dare to flirt … a guy” to the editions Musardine . If I were a man, I would offer it to women (as well as a woman, I would offer Fiona Schmidt to men – by the way, both books can be read in a useful way by other genres). Flore Cherry’s program is based on genetics, to get better out of it. A quote from Hannah Fry, from the book “Mathematics of Love”, will give you a good example of the principle of this guide: ” If you take the lead and start at the top of your list, you will always end up with the best possible partner among those who want you. If you sit and wait for someone to come and talk to you, you will end up with the least bad of those who have come to you. Whatever type of relationship you are interested in, take the initiative, it pays.  “

We go out (hopefully ………) of the classic advice of women’s magazines: here, look after the front, it is less caring blow-dry than its language and integrity, and we give pride to humor and confidence. The guide talks about managing her jealousy, not to do emotional blackmail or harassment (well yes, women are not automatically protected), with more technical things like the question of the finger in the anus (waiting for someone ‘invents a specific label) and aftercare (how to take care of a man, after the report), not to mention storytelling or group dredging, on the internet, and of course the establishment of a relationship in the longer term (with feminine gallantry), friendzone, professional relationships, libertinage, polymer. 

Among the themes common to the two books, I liked a reflection approached very differently but for a similar final opinion: the fact that women were hitherto penalized when they took sexual initiatives – as if sex and seduction were the preserve of men. I say “hitherto” but we agree that it is always punctually the case: easy women are whores, they are embarrassing, they do not provide the male the satisfaction of having conquered them (by the way: a woman who makes you fuck is not more difficult than another, she is only more manipulative).

That said, times change. The speech that men want to be caught (which was heard from time to time, between two complaints about rakes) could serve as a forum for the New Literary Magazine. Contemporary males want to feel wanted and they are right: it’s nice.

Another point common to both books, and I would like to end with this one specifically: a beautiful defense of enthusiasm. Fiona Schmidt recalls all the signs of non-enthusiasm (in public and under the sheets) while Flore Cherry votes for the “fuck yes” (if a relationship is only half open, it’s not worth it to invest its energy). The atmosphere is in a good mood, far from these famous speeches and whiners we hear about (but personally I have never met). Clearly, seduction is not dead. And this updated version seems much more enjoyable than the old codes where the man offers and the woman has!

Leave a Comment