When you’re a mother, you are in total devotion to your child. But you are still a woman, a human being, with a conscience and a free will. And sometimes you think or do things that are not very politically correct.
When you’re a mom, a priori you are in total devotion vis-à-vis your child. It’s your priority, your flesh, your blood, what you want. Yes, but you are still a woman, a human being, with a conscience and a free will. And sometimes you think or do things that are not very politically correct. Here are 10 things that the mother in you will never confess to anyone.
You have already thought of sending your children to Papi Granny for 1 week. Or rather 1 month
You love them, you would do everything for them. But sometimes they hit you on the system and you even wonder what life would be without them. The good life? Maybe, but in the meantime, they are really there so you have more than to assume. That’s why the option “You go to Papi grandma for an indefinite period” remains the best alternative for the good of all. Except that good, from there to want to leave them a month there …
You hide confectionery so you do not have to share it with them
Come on we all do it! The package of Shokobons that helps you keep the blows on hard days, that you eat in secret, little by little. The chocolate bar with milk and caramelized almonds, almost too good for those lovers of melted smarties! It hurts you to share it, even if it’s your children.
You blame your children for a stupidity you made yourself
The time you broke the vase that stepmom had given you? “Oh yeah it’s a shame, they were playing ball and PAF! Right in the vase!” Or the time you turned off your alarm clock on Monday morning and you arrived 3 hours late at work: “Yeah sorry it’s my daughter who fiddled with my alarm clock she was all wrong!” While we know it’s school holidays and your kids are at your parents!
You do not have the level to help your son do his 5th math exercises
But since I tell you that the cosine is equal to the sum of the opposite sides of the isosceles triangle at last !!!! You will not teach me geometry, I got my baccalaureate with honors I mention you! In short, go see your father, he will explain you better, I may use words too complicated for you.
You rejoice when your friends complain about the character of their children
There’s no reason you’re the only one to struggle! So when Martine tells you the crisis that her Ernest made in the deli department at Carrefour, you’re having a blast! And the more stupid bullshit you are. It’s when you see that it’s worse elsewhere than you enjoy what you have.
You’d rather eat a cockroach than take your kids to the movies
Not because popcorn battles, shouting at whoever will be in the middle chair, whisperings as discreet as a chainsaw, the untimely questions “who is he already?”, “Wait he said what there? “,” but it’s a bad guy or a nice guy? “… Not to mention the stare and the judgment of others … Thank you but no thanks! I prefer to put something on Netflix live from the couch, it will be fine!
You break / throw/ hide too boring toys
“Your barking dog? No darling idea, maybe in the toy box?” (while you swung it behind the fridge the day before yesterday). “Your fire truck with the screaming siren does not work? It’s weird the batteries are new! It must be broken!” (while you removed the batteries not later than this morning) … In short, you understood.
The moment you prefer them the most is when they sleep
Well, when they make you cuddle too, you like it, but otherwise … ELSE! it screams it bickers, it rattles, in short, it’s not easy! So you often have nerves hooked to avoid farting cables. And you recharge the batteries when they are asleep, peaceful and so cute in their bed.
It was you who ate your son’s surprise Kinder
But that does not stop you from looking for him for a good 10 minutes. “Bah I do not understand darling, or is it past?” Unworthy mother !!
You lie on bedtime to scratch half an hour
Usually, you diapers at 8:30 pm but they were particularly “fit” today so if you could scratch a few minutes of rest, it’s not a refusal! So hop hop hop, children in bed is already 21h! Tell your offspring when the clock indicates 20h. Enjoy it before they know how to read the time. Although it is possible to just disrupt it for the subterfuge to work. Malignant mother!