There are unilateral breaks and breaks by mutual agreement. In both cases, a breakup is never easy to overcome, even if you are the one who decided to break up. In any case, no one is enthusiastic about living in such a situation and no one comes out unscathed.
Do you think you’ll be able to forget your ex in a snap? Think again, the process that follows a separation is complex and much longer than one could imagine . And contrary to what you are made to believe in the movies, the sorrow caused by the break does not heal with shots of ice engulfed crying on his couch in front of a romantic comedy.
A breakup is a difficult test but a broken heart does not remain forever . Tell yourself that this break is a slump in your life that will have to be overcome in order to move on. Like any ordeal, it will take some effort and a mind of steel. But to get better, you have to give yourself the means! Here are some essential tips to help you overcome a breakup.
Step # 1: clean up!
Take your distance with your ex
Probably the most difficult effort of all. The idea of cutting bridges with your ex does not enchant you, and that’s normal. You have shared with him/her a part of your life, you have entrusted yourself to your ex and have lived together a passionate love affair that will remain forever in a corner of your head.
The prospect of having to destroy everything so brutally scared. In reality, you are afraid of losing all these memories and especially the person with whom you shared them. When you stay on good terms with your ex, you tend to keep talking to her and hope that the breakup is only temporary. But this is not an illusion or even a temporary break.
A separation implies that you stop all contact with your ex, at least for a few months . Remove it from all social networks without exception, block it if you see that he/she comes back to talk to you regularly. In addition, delete his number and avoid at all costs any physical meeting. The time is in the balance sheet of your relationship and it is out of the question to fall so easily in his arms. Resist the temptation and you will come out of this breakup much faster than you thought.
Get rid of his belongings
To help you overcome this breakup, it will be necessary that any material element that reminds you of your ex is removed.
It’s time for the cleaning! Group all the belongings that belong to your ex and make them him . If you do not want to see your ex in person (which is perfectly understandable and even advisable), entrust his business to a mutual friend who will give it to him.
All is to find a reassuring interior that will not make you want to cry every time you enter. For souvenirs such as photos, letters, etc. get rid of it permanently. You can simply burn them or throw them away to have no more trace of those memories. If you are not ready to separate them permanently, put them in a closed box that you will place in a place you have almost no access to.
Finding a home that looks like us is important to feel good. Redo the decor to show that you are turning the page. Your interior will reflect this new start you want to take.
Step 2: think positively
Externalize your anger
Faced with a rupture, our reaction is often extreme. We feel anger towards our ex for the harm he/she did to us or to ourselves for not noticing that the couple was floundering and was doomed to failure.
This is a perfectly legitimate reaction and in the order of things. However, this anger that eats you up is bad for you and may have a negative impact on your daily life, your projects and your optimism. In the manner of a volcano, you boil from the inside constantly and you can explode at any time. This constant nervousness pumps you all your energy, while the latter should be mobilized otherwise.
It will be necessary to turn this negative energy into a positive energy that will help you overcome your breakup. To release this anger other than by going into a mad rage, there are different ways:
- Play sports . Spend to channel your energy and empty your head.
- Write . We often neglect the power of a diary, but it can do wonders in case of breakup love! Transcribing your emotions in writing is a good way to put your feelings back in order. No need to apply yourself to write a story in the strictest rules of narration, these writings must remain private and will serve you to externalize your resentment and your animosity.
- Entrust yourself . If you are not a fan of writing, you can talk about it very well. If you do not trust your loved ones, you can always approach a specialist who is bound by professional secrecy and who, in addition, can help you improve the situation.
To get your ex out of your head, he will have to drop it from his pedestal. In the context of a breakup, our feelings are exacerbated and our reactions, extreme.
Love mixes dangerously with hate and feelings oscillate between the desire to strangle your ex and the need to curl up in his arms. This is a psychological reaction that many encounters.
Often, we tend to idealize our ex and our love relationship gone. You systematically separate the moments of misunderstanding, the repeated disputes, the discord that reigns in the couple until it implodes. You unconsciously erase negative memories from your memory and keep only the best ones. From then on, you have the reflection of an idyllic romantic relationship and a perfect boyfriend.
To help you regain some of your lucidity and objectivity, it will be necessary to bring back the memories of the bad moments of your couple, even if it is painful !
Make a list of what did not work in your couple and your ex’s flaws. Remember, there are no designated culprits. A couple is made up of two partners, and even if your ex has decided to break up, the failure of your relationship is not solely his fault. Once you have laid down all the negatives on the paper, you will already have clearer ideas.
Subsequently, it is possible to decide to win back his ex. This decision is quite appropriate if it is well thought out. You must take a step back and take stock before you start reclaiming your ex. Taking stock of all the negatives is a first step towards the final decision., it’s necessary to choose!
Step 3: change your ideas
Find a social life
A breakup often involves a withdrawal into oneself. However, hiding under the duvet to listen to melancholic music by crying all the tears of her body is not a solution. Take it back and react!
Do not be fooled in this way, you risk landing in the category of unbearable people who complain constantly. To avoid drowning in her tears, it is better to take care of the maximum.
Do not refuse any outings with your family or friends. Even if you are in a state of sadness that does not give you any enthusiasm, all the outings that you will allow will be beneficial for your morale. Who knows, you can even meet new people!
Go out with your friends, have fun but do not abuse any good things! If you feel like you can be yourself in the evening or with your friends, you also need to find the right balance. You can also flourish in your professional environment by setting new goals.
Take care of your mind
To resume a balanced lifestyle on which your breakup does not have too much impact, do you find several activities you want to do outside of your work.
Free time is often synonymous with boredom when it is too long. Who says boredom says negative thoughts. And this is not the time to relapse into the infernal spiral of breakup love!
For example, practice a sport that you like. If you’re not a sportsman (-ve) but creative (-ve), various activities can help your mind and change your mind.
In a club or at home, draw, make music, cooking or even knitting if you wish!
You can also decide to completely renew your wardrobe, your haircut and go for a walk in the beauty salon. All means are good to find a balanced lifestyle and the desire to get up in the morning.
Of course, it is unlikely that these activities will completely empty your head after a breakup. These moments that you devote to your own person increase your well-being and help you feel good about yourself.
Once you have taken enough distance and you have regained your joy of living, you can consider your sentimental future objectively and reasonably.